The most important sexual health questions to ask your doctor cover STI testing, changes in discharge or odor, pain during sex, erection problems, bladder leaks and low desire. Doctors say these issues are common and treatable, yet many patients never bring them up because they feel embarrassed, and many providers don’t ask.
The latest national numbers show why the conversation matters. More than 2.2 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis were reported in the U.S. in 2024, a 9% drop from 2023 and the third straight year of decline. But the progress isn’t even. Congenital syphilis, passed from mother to baby, rose for the 12th year in a row.
Should I get tested for STIs if I feel fine?
Yes. Many STIs cause no symptoms at all, so feeling healthy doesn’t mean you’re in the clear. Testing can involve a urine sample, a blood draw or swabs of the vagina, throat or rectum. Adults who are dating again, at any age, can ask about screening for HIV, hepatitis B and C, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis.
Don’t assume oral or nonpenetrative sex is risk free. The risk is lower, but infections can still spread, especially through cuts or sores. If you’re at higher risk for HIV, ask about PrEP, a daily prevention medication.
The burden isn’t shared equally. Nearly one-third of reported chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis cases in 2023 were among Black Americans, and almost half were among people ages 15 to 24. Routine testing is one of the simplest ways to close that gap.
Is my discharge or odor normal?
Normal looks different for everyone and shifts throughout the menstrual cycle. What matters is change. Johns Hopkins Medicine advises seeing a provider if you notice a foul or fishy smell, or a new color, odor or texture that lasts a few days, since that can signal bacterial overgrowth or infection.
Bumps deserve the same attention. Most are harmless, but herpes sores can heal within one to two weeks, so it’s best to be examined while they’re visible.
Why do my periods hurt this much?
Severe or worsening period pain isn’t something to push through. It can point to endometriosis or uterine fibroids. Research has long shown that Black women are more likely to develop fibroids, which makes this question especially important to raise early. Treatment options can make both conditions more manageable.
Is painful sex normal as I get older?
Common, yes. Normal, no. After menopause, lower estrogen can thin the vaginal walls and cause dryness, irritation and bleeding. Boston University OB/GYN Katharine O’Connell White recommends a water-based lubricant, an estrogen-free vaginal moisturizer and, when needed, prescription vaginal estrogen, along with more time for foreplay. Younger women who feel dryness may have hormone shifts from long-term birth control, which a doctor can help adjust.
Bladder leaks can also come up during sex. They’re common after childbirth and menopause, and a gynecologist can refer you to a pelvic floor specialist.
What does it mean if my erections aren’t reliable?
It’s more common than most men admit. Los Angeles urologist Joshua Gonzalez told AARP that about half of men in their 50s and 60% of men in their 60s experience erection problems. The bigger reason to speak up is that erectile dysfunction can be an early warning sign of heart disease or diabetes, sometimes years before other symptoms. With Black Americans facing higher rates of high blood pressure and diabetes, that conversation could do more than improve a sex life.
Why is my sex drive so low?
Low desire can stem from medications, health conditions, stress or the natural shift that comes with long-term relationships. A doctor can check for medical causes and suggest a counselor if needed. And for the record, masturbation is a normal and safe part of sexuality unless it starts interfering with daily life.
What if my doctor brushes off my questions?
Find another doctor. White told AARP that a provider who dismisses sexual concerns isn’t the right fit, and suggested asking friends for referrals the same way you’d find a trusted mechanic. Black patients have long reported feeling unheard in medical settings, which makes self-advocacy even more important. Questions about your sexual history aren’t judgment. They help your doctor assess risk and give you better care.
The awkward question takes 30 seconds. Skipping it can cost far more.
This article is for general information and isn’t a substitute for professional medical advice.
